Curly hair.

I have naturally curly hair and in the first lockdown of 2020, I felt inspired to learn how to take better care of it. At the start, I figured I’d buy some pricier products, maybe a new brush.

I was a fool.

One YouTube search in, I realized I knew nothing.

Products, washing techniques, strategic routines, gadgets to diffuse, wrap and protect.

What was this coconut-scented world I just stepped into?

Like most things I fall in fascination about, I became completely consumed. I ate up all the information I could find on encouraging my curl, minimizing frizz, and bringing health back to my locks. I watched tutorials, followed curly YouTubers that taught me 99% of what I know now, and experimented on my own head for months.

Like adopting a new religion, I began learning all the terminology of this select group of curlies. Language like: curl clump, “scrunch out the crunch,” porosity, finger coiling, prayer hands technique, plopping…I could go on.

I realized immediately the difference in my hair when I began these new methods and products.

Before my curly journey, my routine looked like this:

Every night I used a generic shampoo and conditioner, wrapped my wet hair in a regular old towel, then oftentimes went to bed with it wet. I straighten it in the morning and called it good enough. I went to a randomly selected hair stylist maybe twice a year. I didn’t take a lot of pride in my hair. It was just there.

At this point in my curly journey, my routine is: 2-3 times a week, I use a quality co-wash specifically for curly hair and detangle my hair by hand. After washing, I use a curl cream and then I style it with a gel. I use a hair towel to squeeze out excess water and let it set for about 20 minutes. I’ll diffuse my roots completely dry to give it some lift and let the rest air-dry. I pin my hair up at night to avoid squishing my curls.

For refresh days, I’ll use just a spritz of water or a curl milk if I need to encourage some re-clumping. I found a hair stylist who knows how to work with textured hair and I can’t count the number of times I’ve referred her to people who stop me in my tracks to ask who I go to.

It took probably 6 months to develop that routine and settle on products that worked well for me, but it didn’t take long to see how my curls were more defined, my hair felt softer, and I was able to go longer without washing it.

I referred to this discovery process as: “I’m learning how to be kinder to my hair.”

It’s been a period of time I heavily invested in really understanding what my natural hair needed and doing the work to pinpoint what products and techniques would give it that.

And I’m still in the process of discovering.

The start of the journey was time-consuming and expensive. I gambled on products that in one use proved were terrible for me. It was exhausting to experiment over and over and I considered on more than one occasion if I should throw in the towel (no pun intended).

But it became too significant of an experience to give up on the process.

No one ever taught me how to take care of my curls. Learning my unique hair for myself felt empowering and self-validating. I was honoring myself by learning how to use my hair as a mode of self-expression. I learned to style it in the way I wanted. I learned to care for it in the way it loved.

At one point in time, I would’ve looked at my hair routine today and scoffed. I would’ve called it high-maintenance, not worth it, and self-indulgent. And while it would’ve been easier to just go on with my Suave 2 in 1, I decided I was worth taking the time to learn my hair, be kind to my hair, and ultimately, really enjoy my hair.