15 grandpa phrases to keep on hand.
Being a grandpa is a persona, a confidence, and a skill. It requires a complete ignorance of modern slang and a level of grumpiness few have the strength to sustain. Aside from grunts when you lift yourself from the recliner and audibly slurping coffee from a mug, here are some phrases to incorporate into your vernacular, adding a geriatric twist to your everyday.
Use these with caution. They’re powerful and you’ll likely be made fun of.
Well, that’s rich!
Use this when you’re exasperated in response to a deeply hypocritical statement. Trust me, it’ll get the point across with a satisfying sting.
I’m going to hunker down with a good book.
This is another way to say, “I’m going to sit in this chair, and my expectation is you’ll leave me alone for the next eight hours.”
Turn that dial, honey.
Accompany this phrase with a shoulder shrug and a on-beat shuffle to the record player so your honey knows to crank that tune.
Where’s the wine?!
Shout this in a fit of desperation when you cross the threshold of anyone’s home for a party of any sort. It makes your priorities clear from the get. An afternoon snooze on their couch is awaiting you in 15 minutes. There’s no time to waste.
Good grief.
Charlie Brown inspired. Replace every “oh my god” with this to express your fed-up-ed-ness.
You know what? You can go ahead and take a hike.
Cutting. Dismissive. A power move really.
You’re cruising for a bruising, my friend.
A stern warning of violence to come if a behavior is to continue. Use this to take control of a conversation instantly.
Hey, pump the brakes there.
Slow the hell down. Where’s the fire? Tone it down, would you?
You sly dog.
Slip this to your buddy when they do anything the least bit clever. It’ll make their day.
This little ankle-biter we have over here.
Until they’re paying taxes, every person ought to be referred to as an ankle-biter. I think that’s only fair.
BADABING!
Synonymous with “wa-la!” Incorporate this with a dash of salt added to your meal.
Well, aren’t you a dreamboat / tall glass of water / dolly?
Find someone hot? Let them know.
Let’s motor / Let’s burn some rubber!
A more fun way to say, “Could you get in the vehicle so we can go?”
You dig? / Capice?
You gotta keep a pulse on these people. Put this at the end of sentences to confirm someone understood or agrees to what you just said.
God-speed.
Use this as you lead unwelcome guests to the door.