Overwhelm.

I’m learning language for emotions.

I’m learning to recognize how they manifest in my body.

This week I’m stressed and the context I gained through Brene Brown’s book "Atlas of the Heart” has resonated with me as I’ve moved through the last few days: “We feel stressed when we evaluate environmental demand as beyond our ability to cope successfully. This includes elements of unpredictability, uncontrollability, and feeling overloaded.”

A quote later in this section from Jon Kabat-Zinn reads: “[overwhelm is the feeling] that our lives are somehow unfolding faster than the human nervous system and psyche are able to manage well.”

Brene goes on to explain how “mindful play, or no-agenda, non-doing time, is the cure for overwhelm” which harkens back to my thoughts on the concept of fun a few days ago. I think there’s a secret in extending time by intentionally “wasting it.”

There must be a physiological release in lifting all expectations from yourself for a period of time—a healthy relief.

I’m beginning to define maturity as “someone who works to consistently give themselves what they need.” Maybe that’s a day off, a deadline, setting a boundary in a relationship, or a home-cooked meal.

I notice when I don’t stop, I start to lose myself. I lose touch with the intuition inside that tells me what will bring me rest and joy.

If it’s as simple as stopping, why don’t I just pump the brakes, slow down and pull over?