Sage advice.
Sometimes I think I know what I’m doing with my life and at those times, I try to take note of my own sage advice. I take these moments as future technology enabled my ninety-year-old self to send important messages to me in the present and I am receiving kernels of lasting guidance from the grandma inside.
Here’s the advice I’ve collected thus far:
1. Dance like you really believe you can dance well
Dance like you’re the most skilled dancer on the floor. Dance like it’s easy. Dance like “no one’s watching” because there’s no sense in overthinking your body’s expression when the whole point of dancing is to get out of your head.
Firstly, the people you’re dancing with are only focused on how their own bodies are moving anyway so what’s the point in being consumed by their perception? The reason they’re not watching you intently is because they’re too busy shaking it themselves.
Secondly, the only people who aren’t moving and grooving and have time to watch and judge are the losers on the sidelines, clunked in the shadows, too in their own way to grow a pair and join you out there. And, you know what? Let them judge away. If we can relate on anything, chances are that you’re not the greatest dancer either and that’s why you’re still reading this section. Anyone who can truly dance has skipped to number two, but not you and I. In my old age, I’ve learned that dancing like you mean every move is the best way to actually get out of dancing what it’s meant to give you: an out-of-your-head, physical release and a sense of confidence that is entirely self-indulgent.
2. Shower at night
I’ve never understood the all-too-common morning shower for several reasons.
Number 1: You take all the outside flakes of dirt and allergens and skin cells and dust that you’ve collected in your going abouts of the day into your pajamas and sheets when you don’t shower off before sleep. You and your sweaty feet slip into bed with your day-old underwear and I don’t understand how this is widely okay with most people.
Number 2: You don’t have time to let your thoughts wander when you enter the morning routine schedule structure. 6am: wake up. 6:15: drink coffee. 6:20: realize you’re running late. 6:30: eat breakfast really fast. 6:35: jump in the shower. 6:40: fight with your wardrobe. 6:45: drive off to work with wet hair.
How can you inadvertently have life-altering revelations in five minutes in between shampooing and conditioning? Showering at night where all that’s scheduled thereafter is a date with your pillow enables you to take your time, not rush your thoughts, decompress from the day.
Number 3: A steamy shower at night warms the body, getting you ready for a sip of water, a chapter of a book, and dozing off into cozy sleep.
I’ve said my peace.
3. Pay attention to how your popcorn is popping in the microwave
How often do you actually eat popcorn? Isn’t it worth it to master the art of popping every kernel leaving not one un-popped by impatience or burnt by over-microwaving? I feel like a codebreaker as my fingers rest on the weird big button that thrusts the door open, my ear turned to the hum of the lit, rotating table, just waiting for the popcorn intuition to signal the final pop.
4. Leave your car keys with anything at a friend’s house that you have to bring home with you
Be it a book you’ve been wanting to borrow, your leftovers in the fridge, or a giant bag of lemons you have no idea how to use from their backyard tree, put your car keys with it so you have no choice but to remember to lug it home. You can’t leave without your keys so you won’t leave without this easily forgettable item.
5. Keep a Bluetooth speaker in your kitchen
One of the simplest joys of life is cooking with music on. Chopping veggies to Elvis Presley or sautéing onions to a little Billy Joel is by far a mood booster like none other. Keep a Bluetooth speaker easily accessible in your kitchen to fill your dinner prep atmosphere with a little ambiance.
While you’re at it, pour yourself a glass of wine, dance a little, and relish in the daily ritual of preparing a good meal.
All for now from future grandma.